A few years back, in 2011 I married my longtime friend from the 8th grade, Louis Montano. Life has been a bit different, but in the best way possible. Going through my day to day life with work and spending good quality time with my man has been a very fine balancing act.
How do I do it?
I focus on the here and now, the present, and I make sure to be certain I am present with Louis when I am off of duty… still a work in progress, but it’s coming. I make sure that the time away from my job/passion, isn’t still so stuck on ME, ME, ME.
On a day to day basis when working hard towards any goal and morphing your YOU to your needs as life keeps moving and changing ever so slightly. A degree of self-time, often misinterpreted as selfishness, to say the least, is important. When it comes to putting in the grunt work, nothing else seems to matter when you spike up, hit the pavement, sweat your blood, whatever it is that you do… It can not be denied that it has to be you, squeezing every ounce out of your physical and mental capacity on any given day. For me, now that I have another half, doing that and then coming home to warmth and love requires both parties. I therefore, put off anything that may hinder me from taking that ME first attitude home, because the second I walk up to the door and take off my work shoes its US.
Methods used to be less selfish in times where selfishness is prohibited/ frowned upon (i.e with your loved ones, husband, wife or children… this also includes good friends) you may want to call this after hours. There is a time and a place for everything, or so they say… I miss the boat on other areas of my life, but I try very hard to catch this ship as it sails.
1. We turn off our work phones after 6pm (it's really just our cell phones, but we don't do work calls), from dinner time on, anything work related after this time is now tomorrow related… sorry, we are closed, its MONTAÑO time.
2. We also turn off all forms of technology that are separators rather than bonders, unless we do it together… like video games, movies, sporting events.
3. We find things that we both like to do and do it together. Working out together, hiking, biking, running.
4. We spend a lot of time with our friends, playing board games, going to the beach, watching movies… and best of all READING, sometimes even out loud to each other before bed. (embarrassing? maybe… but its true.)